Friday, November 14, 2008

Us and Other

Thank you CCC students for another great week in class and online. I am learning very much from you everyday.

In class last week, we said that I cannot know who I am without the Other. Dialogue with the Other culture reveals to us our own cultural identity. We need the Other to be Us.

However, in our reading of Trandis this week, he says: "All humans are ethnocentric... members of a culture see their own norms and behaviors as 'natural' and 'correct' and those members of other cultures as 'unnatural' and 'incorrect.'"

So my question is: If we think the Other is "unnatural" or "incorrect," how is cross cultural communication possible?

Do you have any personal examples, experiences, opinions, or strategies that could create dialogue between cultural Others?

Please share. Aj. M

"Our life is never individual… it is endlessly enriched by the presence of the other, and consequently impoverished by his absence. Alone, we have no name and no face, no one to call out to us and no reflection in which to recognize our features." Alberto Manguel

15 comments:

  1. I had one of the most special moments of my life last year when I stayed in India.

    I had a research project to study girl's primary schools, and to help develop education for young girls in poor places. I was very lucky to do this work. But it was difficult because we came from very different places in our lives.

    I arrived to a school in a very rural and poor place. The girls were about ten years old. I was very other to them, and they were very other to me. We did not share a language, an age, a gender, a language... How could communication be possible in this situation?

    I felt nervous and in fact, scared. But then I met the smile of one of the students, and I smiled back. And I shook her hand. And then more students came to shake my hand one after another, and we could all smile and laugh together.

    Even though we were completely other to one another, there was a human experience that we could share, and it made a communication of trust and discovery possible. This experience taught me much about them, but I think much moreso about me.

    I hope this helps to start the conversation about this difficult topic. Aj. M

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  2. Hi, AJ. M

    "Our life is never individual… it is endlessly enriched by the presence of the other, and consequently impoverished by his absence. Alone, we have no name and no face, no one to call out to us and no reflection in which to recognize our features." Alberto Manguel

    i like this poem...

    Last class we talked about "when have you been other?" i have my case.

    I and my friend, we always sit together all the class. you know why? it's because we felt not apart from all student in class, different, scared, and depression.
    the reason was happened in this semester. we are seperated from our group. all my close friends were moved to another section so we only that leave here.

    Even though we knew all this class' students but we were not familiar with. We only talked in an neccesary case like work group. this is because we never stay together, never do any activities before. We always think that all that they do is different from that we'd done. It's hare too understand and acceptable.

    Now we try to be one of them, we don't want other to be like us just hope stay with them as happyly in this semester.

    Take care,

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  3. Dear Aj.Mathew

    You give us the difficult questions again T_T

    You remind me the interesting example in your class; the whole fish on the plate. Our culture is "incorrect" in others, and others' culture is very "unusual" for us. while "we" think we are the best, we are "worst" for many too.

    How can we communicate through the differences?

    I believe in the first step. If I wanna make new friend but do nothing, the relationship will never start ofcourse.

    We should start by "conversation". As your experience in India; do nothing, get nothing.

    Let's assume that we went to another country where doesn't use English, how can we start? Yeah, gestures are very useful!!

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  4. Hi, ajarn Matthew and my CCC friends

    How is cross cultural communication possible, if we think the Other is 'unnatural' and 'incorrect'?

    It is hard to make the communication to be successful if we think that other people are incorrect or unnatural.

    First, I want to tell you that I don't agree with Tradis at all. We all know that from the past to the present, many countries around the world do the business to each other and recieve one another's culture all the time.

    If people think that what other people do or other behaviors are incorrect or unnatural, we might not see Western people use chopsticks and even see Thai teenagers play skateboard when actually we are not forced to do that.

    Moreover, why people want to travel around the world or other countries, if people think that other is unnatual or incorrect?

    I want to change those terms to be the word 'different' instead.

    But suppose if we think that, we should accept the way they are like we accept the way we are in individual. It is true that our life is never individual, but we all are not the same. And we can live and be happy together in our group. If we accept and let other to have right to be different, I believe every group can live together eventhough we are unnatural from each other.

    As we know even dogs we can communicate. We can call them. we can be friend with them. We human can communicate too. We always can.

    These are all I think.

    Maybe you guys find it useful in this topic.

    See you in class.

    WITH QUIZ!!! ToT

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  5. Hi. Aj M

    From that AJ. means i think this two kinds of thought 'unnatural' and 'incorrect' that always occur in every people's thought when we face with any other new thing in which are not apart from them or difference from them. it's just attitude of each one. In fact we absorb a usefully thing from "unnatural" or "incorrect" also.

    It's possible for communicate in other culture. It's the reason that why they want to travel to, and run business with is cause of new experience, new stuff, new thing. If every thing is the same, i think it's stand still like this all the time. No more motivation to do any thing new, no more...

    "People's need is unlimited..."

    They want to exchange for that they don't have ,and an interested one. We don't have enough skill, so cannot do every thing in one area or one method and other cannot do too. The easiest way is to exchange. That is the happening of cross culture too.

    We are not others and others are not Us. I think both are each others for living.

    Take care,

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  6. Great comments so far! a.apple is right that we usually first communicate with others, because we have no choice... we must because we need them to feel like we belong.

    Paechan and Milktea...good conversation. I'm also not sure if I agree completely with Trandis. I do agree that we usually think that WE are "natural" or "correct", but I think that we are able also to imagine other "natural" possibilities for other people.

    Thank you for this.

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  7. Hi teacher..^^

    Well..I read this question since friday and I always think that what is my answer!!

    If we think the Other is "unnatural" or "incorrect," how is cross cultural communication possible?

    For me, I think that we should be open minded and brave to accept other culture. At first, it is true that we will deny other culture because we think that it is unnatural but I quite believe that if we try to learn and try to understand the other culture, we won't think other culture is incorrect anymore.

    The understanding can be able to make us and them understand each other with respectfully. That's why we have to learn this subject. ;-P

    C ya next question..^^

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  8. I agree to milktea..Aj.M
    We are like the other in this section while we try to make friends to everyone.

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  9. I do not know how to answer your question... what I just know is that I always feel not good when I am so isolated from the people that I know or unknow(except when we really need a quiet place to do our work)... As for me, I love to start the conversation first, so sometimes when the event liked feeling faraway from each other, I do not like that much... It makes me like when I look back to the past again, I will feel "Why don't I start the conversation with them first?" If we start it, the event will be change instead of feeling faraway, we will feel more close and comfortable as being ourselves.

    That is what I think, do not know that it will match your question or not...

    Anyway, aj. Canada it is cold agian. Take care your health na...


    With love,

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  10. Hello Everyone,

    Personally, I think we must start to try to make ourselves comfortable with the new culture first.

    It should be absolutely fine to feel that the new culture is 'incorrect' or nicer putting as 'different' as Paechan said.

    Then as time goes by, sometimes take longer that we think. Eventually when we are ready we are willing to communicate.

    Attitude to accept others is what I think really important in Cross-cultural communication. In addition, when one willing to experience new culture it is always an opportunity to start a comfortable communication.

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  11. Ah...Aj.Matthew

    It's very difficult question.

    If we think the Other is "unnatural" or "incorrect," how is cross cultural communication possible?

    In my opinion, when we feel other is unnatural, it's because we think we are correct and other is different from us. For the example, if we are in the other country; different culture from us, we will think other is unnatural.In contrast we are different from them too.
    The best way that we can communicate with people who we think they are other is "talk".
    "Let's talk", because when human talk together, it means sharing the ideas and making friend. Finally, though we are other for them and they are other for us, we can be friends and live in this world happily...

    ^_____^



    ps. You will confuse with my comment hahaha, because I confuse it too.

    :P


    Your class is great!!!

    I love it!!


    Take care

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  12. Thank you for these comments. You surprise me every time.

    What I learn from these last few comments: Communication is a choice. We must choose to communicate. If we choose not to, then nothing changes, not us nor them, and miscommunication continues. The Other will remain "incorrect" and "unnatural," and WE will remain wrong about them. Cross cultural communication is only possible if we choose it to be.

    This is wonderful... invite others to join! Stories or examples will help us understand more. Aj. M

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  13. If we think the Other is "unnatural" or "incorrect," how is cross cultural communication possible?
    This question is very interesting.
    I accept that I think that OTHER are unnatural and incorrect because we come from different cultures, different places. that is why we think that OTHER is unnatural or incorrect.
    However, This situation can be changed. cross cultural communication is possible. when we are the new comer, we will feel the Feeling of being the other. That means we are learning another cultuer and we want to be a part of that culture. When you feel comfortable, it means you already learn another culture. cross cultural communication is done.

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  14. Although we are different but we always have something that are the same. Smile is universal. And it works every place in the world.

    I think your question is dealing with people's attitude. We have to understand each other and adapt ourselves to cross cultural communicate.

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  15. In my opinion, it cannot be worked if people still thought like that.
    You may talk to others/foreigner with negative thinking. Because of the idea as bias or stereotypes, misunderstanding will be easily occured.

    If we need to communicate effectively, we should try to understand the opponent firstly.
    Understand their behavior, thier life, their believes, thier style and their reason will lead us to communicate probably.

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